Julie was planning on retiring at 65. Now, she's spent her life savings fighting for her grandchildren.
This is part of a MassLive special report on the the impact of the opioid crisis on children in Massachusetts.
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Addison* and her grandmother, Julie*, stand in the driveway with a balloon, singing happy birthday. When they're done, they release the balloon, watching it float toward the sky.
The balloon is for Addison's mother, and they'll float another when her stepmother's birthday comes around. She's lost both to Massachusetts' opioid epidemic.
Addison and her brother are two of 2.9 million children living with their grandparents, a rising number due to their parents being addicted to opioids.
Although, their father is still alive, they currently only see him once a week during a supervised visit. He continues to struggle with his own addiction, Julie, his mother, said.
"He had $100,000 a year job, he had house, he had a wife, two kids, he had everything," Julie said. "And he lost it all."
Addison's father was in a car accident that required multiple back surgeries and an opioid prescription, Julie said. It took her years to realize her son had become addicted, even though others could see it.
"Everyone was telling me and I was saying, 'No, you're wrong. No, you're wrong,'" she said. "I knew he was taking medication for his back. That's what I would say."
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She was active in her children and grandchildren's lives, saying she was the typical "Nani." They went on vacations, took trips to the beach and each of the grandchildren had their own rooms in her house for when they spent the night. But she didn't want to believe her son had a problem.
The week he stole a family heirloom, though, she had her breaking point.
The family had already grown distrustful of her son, Julie said, changing their locks and not allowing him alone in the house. But he still managed to take the jewlery.
Then two days later, Julie received a phone call saying Addison, who was 6 years old at the time, was alone outside riding her bike. It was 8 p.m.
When she went to pick up Addison, she found she hadn't had dinner and had been outside for four hours. Julie's son was nowhere to be found.
"At that point it was like being slapped in the face," Julie said. "The reality finally hit home that what everyone was telling me was true, that I was the only one that wasn't seeing this."
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Soon after, a Department of Children and Families worker was standing in their dining room, giving Julie and her husband the ultimatum of keeping their grandchildren or sending them to foster care.
It was also that day, the two grandparents would learn DCF had been called over 20 times on their son. And they began hearing of stories of their son stealing birthday and christmas money from his children, selling their Xbox games and hiding pills under the their beds. Plus, they learned Addison has been born dependent on opioids, something that was previously hidden from them.
"It's funny how after the fact, you get all the rest of the story," Julie said.
Julie said it was no question if they'd take her grandchildren, but they had no idea what the future would hold for them.
"We didn't start this to gain custody of our grandkids," Julie said. But, "it was time we step in and do something." So, they hired an attorney, who said it would take six months and $4,000.
Almost five years and $35,000 later, they are still going to court, fighting with their son, trying to get what's best for these children.
This isn't an uncommon problem for grandparents. Once DCF places them with grandparents, known as kinship care, the file is closed, meaning they are not eligible for the same services and financial support as licensed foster parents.
"Everyone agrees that kinship care is the right thing, but there's no money to pay for it," Maria Moissades, the Massachusetts child advocacy official, told PEW.
Some states, including Massachusetts, are trying to change that. If passed, the bill in Massachusetts would provide grandparents caring for their grandchildren with property tax relief. In Louisiana and New Mexico, there are councils and task forces set up to recommend policy changes that could help grandparents specifically, according to PEW.
The main push behind this, is that grandparents are saving the state money. According to PEW an analysis of foster care payments by Generations United, kinship placements are saving taxpayers $4 billion each year by keeping the children out of the foster care system.
Plus, in a time when DCF is already struggling the find placement for children in foster care, this is usually the best option.
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But for Julie, this isn't about the everyday cost of care for a child, it's the extra court fees of trying to keep custody of her grandchildren that she never expected.
She has gone to court multiple times with her son over the guardianship of her grandchildren. But she said she knows if she doesn't continue to fight it and they live with him, they'll eventually be taken by DCF, again.
"Our life savings is gone," Julie said. "Not that I'm looking for anybody to pay me to take care of the kids, but we should not have to pay $35,000 to step up and say 'Don't put these kids in foster care, we as a family will take them.'"
Beyond the money, they've also had to look out for the children's mental wellbeing.
Julie said her granddaughter wouldn't make eye contact, hardly talked and stuttered when she came to live with them. Plus, both grandchildren needed extensive counseling. And, she said, no matter what she does, she knows they'll always be affected by their past.
"When you look at what these pills are doing and what they're doing to the families, these kids are who are going to pay the price for this," Julie said.
Laughter is what gets them through this though. And, Julie said, both children are flourishing.
Her grandson recently made honor role and is now trying to decide between the Navy, college or technical school for after he graduates. And her granddaughter, plays the flute, is in Girl Scouts and goes to youth group.
They eat dinner together as a family every night -- except Friday's, which are for friends. Something, Julie said, Addison missed out on when she was living with her father because her friends' parents didn't trust sending their kids to his house.
"We are giving her the parental support she always should have had and with that support she has come a long way," Julie said.
It brings her to tears to think what would happen if her grandchildren had to live with him again.
"We love our son. But the man who stands before us now is not our son," she said.
Now, Julie's whole life is taking care of her grandchildren. It means retiring much later than expected but it also means band concerts, football games and a whole lot of laughter.
"It's my family, you do what you have to do," Julie said.
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*Names have been changed for privacy of the family.
